I am a White Nationalist. I am a White Civil Rights Advocate.
This Blog and the previous one have been the belated record of my journey...
Some of my views have changed, some have stayed the same.
Basically, this blog is done. I have blossomed into what I really am, as Nietzsche puts it
BECOME WHAT YOU ARE.
If I have a new blog it will be unattached to this one...this is now relic floating in cyberspace. I will probably post a few more posts, explain but do not feel obligated to do so.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Star friendship
-"The Gay Science", 279. Friedrich Nietzsche
Star friendship.— We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did—and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had one goal. But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see one another again,—perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changed us! That we have to become estranged is the law above us: by the same token we should also become more venerable for each other! And thus the memory of our former friendship should become more sacred! There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path,—let us rise up to this thought! But our life is too short and our power of vision too small for us to be more than friends in the sense of this sublime possibility.— Let us then believe in our star friendship even if we should be compelled to be earth enemies.
Star friendship.— We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did—and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had one goal. But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see one another again,—perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changed us! That we have to become estranged is the law above us: by the same token we should also become more venerable for each other! And thus the memory of our former friendship should become more sacred! There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path,—let us rise up to this thought! But our life is too short and our power of vision too small for us to be more than friends in the sense of this sublime possibility.— Let us then believe in our star friendship even if we should be compelled to be earth enemies.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I am not your hero
E.V.P. can make a person flypaper for demons, especially when they have current "issues". which I do
Astral Projection is useless if the individual has "issues" and ends up merely wandering around semi-real consensus realms of their own creation. That's currently me.
I am a former pothead and a current struggling alcoholic. wo is me, boo hoo...
I re-iterate my stance "get your own proof!"
In the recent months, I have re-appreciated the esoteric, the occult. As much as I crave for The Knowing, one must put things in perspective and look oneself in the mirror and not flinch from what they see. I see a soul beset by demons, beset by addictions. Filled to hatred to crisis point, a man on edge...
Therefore, I try to focus on the little things these days. Get my "Buddha" on...
My currently spiritually flabby ass would be useless in the paranormal arena at this point! Thank the Gods it is only 2008. Yes, I do believe in 2012 something will happen.
I am nobody's hero. I make noise, and much of it makes sense. But that noise and fury and activity must benefit me, foremost. Check your spiritual pulse, and ask yourself this - are you constantly turning to others to jump-start yours, to get it beating again?
What is this blog primarily? A message in a bottle among countless other millions online. I was here, I existed. I perceived elements of the truth of reality and strived to get somewhere with my newfound wisdom. The end to the saga of my struggle is yet to be written, but realise this - it is a profoundly selfish saga.
I was born a "bad seed". Daddy never diddled me, and high school didnt traumatize all that much! I am what I am. Savage. Frustrated. Mean. This mortal life right now in the 21st century is Hell for one such as myself, and I must admit that I do welcome Death, but not yet...not yet...
A reason to live for one such as myself? Paranormal Knowledge and Aptitude. Problem is, all I have to do is walk out my door in the morning and see "dawn of the dead" (ie. the public) and my enthusiasm plummets and I just crave for out. But out right now would have many unwanted terms and conditions connected, which I am unwilling to accept, and their consequences I am unwilling to volitionally undergo.
Do you want a reason to live? are you beset by demons? well guess what, if you died right now those demons will be waiting for you on the other side, and you may not be strong enough to fend them off. This is my own rationale...
I am not your hero. I am beset by demons, and every day is the worst day of my life. I am bitter and twisted and long for Nuclear Annihilation of much of this shitty planet! Come, Great Depression, Come, Ecological Melt-Down. Oh Nature, destroy this stagnation, this house of cards built on sand that society calls "progress"...
I am scarcely my own hero, I am a bad seed and dread to consider who or what I may have been in a previous life. I got issues, leave me be. I need to crawl into my Hermit's hole and pray to the Divine and hope my suffering can be assuaged...
Be Your Own Hero
Astral Projection is useless if the individual has "issues" and ends up merely wandering around semi-real consensus realms of their own creation. That's currently me.
I am a former pothead and a current struggling alcoholic. wo is me, boo hoo...
I re-iterate my stance "get your own proof!"
In the recent months, I have re-appreciated the esoteric, the occult. As much as I crave for The Knowing, one must put things in perspective and look oneself in the mirror and not flinch from what they see. I see a soul beset by demons, beset by addictions. Filled to hatred to crisis point, a man on edge...
Therefore, I try to focus on the little things these days. Get my "Buddha" on...
My currently spiritually flabby ass would be useless in the paranormal arena at this point! Thank the Gods it is only 2008. Yes, I do believe in 2012 something will happen.
I am nobody's hero. I make noise, and much of it makes sense. But that noise and fury and activity must benefit me, foremost. Check your spiritual pulse, and ask yourself this - are you constantly turning to others to jump-start yours, to get it beating again?
What is this blog primarily? A message in a bottle among countless other millions online. I was here, I existed. I perceived elements of the truth of reality and strived to get somewhere with my newfound wisdom. The end to the saga of my struggle is yet to be written, but realise this - it is a profoundly selfish saga.
I was born a "bad seed". Daddy never diddled me, and high school didnt traumatize all that much! I am what I am. Savage. Frustrated. Mean. This mortal life right now in the 21st century is Hell for one such as myself, and I must admit that I do welcome Death, but not yet...not yet...
A reason to live for one such as myself? Paranormal Knowledge and Aptitude. Problem is, all I have to do is walk out my door in the morning and see "dawn of the dead" (ie. the public) and my enthusiasm plummets and I just crave for out. But out right now would have many unwanted terms and conditions connected, which I am unwilling to accept, and their consequences I am unwilling to volitionally undergo.
Do you want a reason to live? are you beset by demons? well guess what, if you died right now those demons will be waiting for you on the other side, and you may not be strong enough to fend them off. This is my own rationale...
I am not your hero. I am beset by demons, and every day is the worst day of my life. I am bitter and twisted and long for Nuclear Annihilation of much of this shitty planet! Come, Great Depression, Come, Ecological Melt-Down. Oh Nature, destroy this stagnation, this house of cards built on sand that society calls "progress"...
I am scarcely my own hero, I am a bad seed and dread to consider who or what I may have been in a previous life. I got issues, leave me be. I need to crawl into my Hermit's hole and pray to the Divine and hope my suffering can be assuaged...
Be Your Own Hero
Monday, January 21, 2008
Fuck you, Zionists
I see through the bullshit. Your dissembling over how any criticism is racially motivated is old and tired, tepid and useless. Truth and Reason shall bulldoze your shit. It has, continues to and My God just wait to see what the future holds.
We KNOW that you, yes YOU - they, THEM - you fuckers control our Mass Media, influence American Foreign Policy and have escalated our emnity with the Muslims, therefore forcing into a civilizational war perhaps a few decades too early, oh yeah and also we die in our drives so that the fake nation-state of Israel can continue to survive.
What more is there to say, really? Fuck You. Deeply, from the bottom of my heart
We KNOW that you, yes YOU - they, THEM - you fuckers control our Mass Media, influence American Foreign Policy and have escalated our emnity with the Muslims, therefore forcing into a civilizational war perhaps a few decades too early, oh yeah and also we die in our drives so that the fake nation-state of Israel can continue to survive.
What more is there to say, really? Fuck You. Deeply, from the bottom of my heart
Thursday, November 22, 2007
from the Gospel of Philip
It is not possible for anyone to see anything of the things that actually exist unless he becomes like them. This is not the way with man in the world: he sees the sun without being a sun; and he sees the heaven and the earth and all other things, but he is not these things. This is quite in keeping with the truth. But you saw something of that place, and you became those things. You saw the Spirit, you became spirit. You saw Christ, you became Christ. You saw the Father, you shall become Father. So in this place you see everything and do not see yourself, but in that place you do see yourself - and what you see you shall become.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Archonic Gnosticism
Gnostic paths are always imperfect. One of the major wrong turns in Gnosticism's history has been a love-affair with the Buddhistic concept of surrender of body and even individual self. Nirvana and reunion in the Pleroma are synonymous, interchangeable. Both are wrong turns.
I argue that one can become so enlightened that they rationally decide to halt their so-called "spiritual progress" toward reunion with some esoteric Ground of All Being. Instinctually, the more refined intellect is repelled by this conception of dissolution of self and the baring of one's soul before all of Existence.
To my mind, Nirvanic/Pleromatic reunion is highly overrated, like family reunions. Where we come from needn't necessarily be better than from where we have ended up. On the contrary, there is so much charm to being in these demiurgically weaved bodies and our consciousnesses being filtered through these homonid brains that it would be insanity to throw it all away! I wouldn't even hazard "reunion" for one micro-second, lest it tear me asunder from my Ape-suit for eternity!
Admittedly, it is a matter of taste - but I argue that given enough time, most souls would be well-adjusted enough to prefer to be in the afterlife with this Ape body, that they would prefer that this accursed "rip" in the tide that drags us toward self-dissolution would melt away and leave us to our own devices. Why do you assume this pull is either irresistable or a good thing? The reasoning mind can see it is rather a trade-up, and if there is no refund and you aren't even allowed to know if you will get one (a refund) until after the fact - see where this is going?
It is far wiser to remain Archonic, so to speak. Archonic, yes, but with one's eyes open. Enlightened Archonism.
I argue that one can become so enlightened that they rationally decide to halt their so-called "spiritual progress" toward reunion with some esoteric Ground of All Being. Instinctually, the more refined intellect is repelled by this conception of dissolution of self and the baring of one's soul before all of Existence.
To my mind, Nirvanic/Pleromatic reunion is highly overrated, like family reunions. Where we come from needn't necessarily be better than from where we have ended up. On the contrary, there is so much charm to being in these demiurgically weaved bodies and our consciousnesses being filtered through these homonid brains that it would be insanity to throw it all away! I wouldn't even hazard "reunion" for one micro-second, lest it tear me asunder from my Ape-suit for eternity!
Admittedly, it is a matter of taste - but I argue that given enough time, most souls would be well-adjusted enough to prefer to be in the afterlife with this Ape body, that they would prefer that this accursed "rip" in the tide that drags us toward self-dissolution would melt away and leave us to our own devices. Why do you assume this pull is either irresistable or a good thing? The reasoning mind can see it is rather a trade-up, and if there is no refund and you aren't even allowed to know if you will get one (a refund) until after the fact - see where this is going?
It is far wiser to remain Archonic, so to speak. Archonic, yes, but with one's eyes open. Enlightened Archonism.
Sublime Hatred in Gnosticism
Let us not mince words - Gnosticism is foremost a religion of hatred, a rebellion of the noblest instincts of humankind (biological, mental and spiritual/paranormal) against the obscenity of Judaism, Judeo-Christianity and Islam.
Gnosticism as a "Hate" spirituality - strange words, you say? I am hardy denying that most Gnostic texts speak of profound Love as one of the most important, if not the most important of the "guiding lights" in ancient Gnosticisms. However - I agrue that intrinsically wedded to this Love is a profound Hatred.
Love and Beauty are revered as Ideals in Platonic thought, and the goal of the spiritual aspirant is to largely shun ephemeral beauty, appreciating the divine beauty that is reflected in the imperfect things of our mortal Kosmos. Well then, why not divining with one's intellect that which is reprehensible in all ephermal things, and tracing them back to concepts, "ideas" transcendant from our own particular kosmos of chaos?
Hatred in Gnosticism is implicit, rather than explicit, of course. I argue that the ancient Gnostics were unaware how lovingly and passionately they hated! Try as they might, I see them for who and what they were and mourn the loss of what they might have been, if their intellectual honesty had been more consistent. Ah, but such is the constant shortcomings of people and "isms".
Gnosticism is supposed to be about war! A passionate struggle to the death against ingnorance, lies, weakness and oppression. Taken this way, Gnosticism (despite its psychedelic mythology) can be seen as a healthier, saner spiritual path to Buddhism etc. Note I say spiritual, not religious. Gnostic texts are to be drawn on for spiritual nourishment, not venerated as the texts of your "religion"! Especially in the 21st century, to label Gnosticism as one's actual religion is very, very stupid.
Gnosticism is Anarchic, Shamanistic. The diverse Gnostic Mythos are a combination of guilless psychonautic adventures, but also a refined form of spiritual rebellion. The looming authoritarian behemoth of Rome could not hold a candle to Judaism's vileness, which is why Gnosticism focusses exclusively on Judaism. Of course, hypothetically given more time (extra centuries to spread their wings) one can easily imagine Gnostic polemical texts (philosophical and mythological) branching out to slander similar religions, concepts and systems of control (lesser evils to Judaism, but evils nonetheless). Yes, even the Roman Empire itself.
Gnosticism as a "Hate" spirituality - strange words, you say? I am hardy denying that most Gnostic texts speak of profound Love as one of the most important, if not the most important of the "guiding lights" in ancient Gnosticisms. However - I agrue that intrinsically wedded to this Love is a profound Hatred.
Love and Beauty are revered as Ideals in Platonic thought, and the goal of the spiritual aspirant is to largely shun ephemeral beauty, appreciating the divine beauty that is reflected in the imperfect things of our mortal Kosmos. Well then, why not divining with one's intellect that which is reprehensible in all ephermal things, and tracing them back to concepts, "ideas" transcendant from our own particular kosmos of chaos?
Hatred in Gnosticism is implicit, rather than explicit, of course. I argue that the ancient Gnostics were unaware how lovingly and passionately they hated! Try as they might, I see them for who and what they were and mourn the loss of what they might have been, if their intellectual honesty had been more consistent. Ah, but such is the constant shortcomings of people and "isms".
Gnosticism is supposed to be about war! A passionate struggle to the death against ingnorance, lies, weakness and oppression. Taken this way, Gnosticism (despite its psychedelic mythology) can be seen as a healthier, saner spiritual path to Buddhism etc. Note I say spiritual, not religious. Gnostic texts are to be drawn on for spiritual nourishment, not venerated as the texts of your "religion"! Especially in the 21st century, to label Gnosticism as one's actual religion is very, very stupid.
Gnosticism is Anarchic, Shamanistic. The diverse Gnostic Mythos are a combination of guilless psychonautic adventures, but also a refined form of spiritual rebellion. The looming authoritarian behemoth of Rome could not hold a candle to Judaism's vileness, which is why Gnosticism focusses exclusively on Judaism. Of course, hypothetically given more time (extra centuries to spread their wings) one can easily imagine Gnostic polemical texts (philosophical and mythological) branching out to slander similar religions, concepts and systems of control (lesser evils to Judaism, but evils nonetheless). Yes, even the Roman Empire itself.
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