I am not your hero

E.V.P. can make a person flypaper for demons, especially when they have current "issues". which I do

Astral Projection is useless if the individual has "issues" and ends up merely wandering around semi-real consensus realms of their own creation. That's currently me.

I am a former pothead and a current struggling alcoholic. wo is me, boo hoo...

I re-iterate my stance "get your own proof!"

In the recent months, I have re-appreciated the esoteric, the occult. As much as I crave for The Knowing, one must put things in perspective and look oneself in the mirror and not flinch from what they see. I see a soul beset by demons, beset by addictions. Filled to hatred to crisis point, a man on edge...

Therefore, I try to focus on the little things these days. Get my "Buddha" on...

My currently spiritually flabby ass would be useless in the paranormal arena at this point! Thank the Gods it is only 2008. Yes, I do believe in 2012 something will happen.

I am nobody's hero. I make noise, and much of it makes sense. But that noise and fury and activity must benefit me, foremost. Check your spiritual pulse, and ask yourself this - are you constantly turning to others to jump-start yours, to get it beating again?

What is this blog primarily? A message in a bottle among countless other millions online. I was here, I existed. I perceived elements of the truth of reality and strived to get somewhere with my newfound wisdom. The end to the saga of my struggle is yet to be written, but realise this - it is a profoundly selfish saga.

I was born a "bad seed". Daddy never diddled me, and high school didnt traumatize all that much! I am what I am. Savage. Frustrated. Mean. This mortal life right now in the 21st century is Hell for one such as myself, and I must admit that I do welcome Death, but not yet...not yet...

A reason to live for one such as myself? Paranormal Knowledge and Aptitude. Problem is, all I have to do is walk out my door in the morning and see "dawn of the dead" (ie. the public) and my enthusiasm plummets and I just crave for out. But out right now would have many unwanted terms and conditions connected, which I am unwilling to accept, and their consequences I am unwilling to volitionally undergo.

Do you want a reason to live? are you beset by demons? well guess what, if you died right now those demons will be waiting for you on the other side, and you may not be strong enough to fend them off. This is my own rationale...

I am not your hero. I am beset by demons, and every day is the worst day of my life. I am bitter and twisted and long for Nuclear Annihilation of much of this shitty planet! Come, Great Depression, Come, Ecological Melt-Down. Oh Nature, destroy this stagnation, this house of cards built on sand that society calls "progress"...

I am scarcely my own hero, I am a bad seed and dread to consider who or what I may have been in a previous life. I got issues, leave me be. I need to crawl into my Hermit's hole and pray to the Divine and hope my suffering can be assuaged...

Be Your Own Hero